I Resolve...Maybe

My husband and John have a friendship that goes back about 60 years. They have coffee together three or four times a week, always about noon, because that’s the earliest time John usually gets here. You have to understand that John is a 68-year old bachelor, and has no partner to keep his life orderly. He stays up late and sleeps in regularly. He flies by the seat of his pants daily with no set schedule.

John walked in the door about 12:20 p.m. on January 2. Almost the first thing he said was “I’ve already broken my new year resolution. I resolved to go to bed earlier so I wouldn’t sleep as late, and I didn’t even make it through one day.”

Welcome to resolution failure. Only 14%* of people over the age of 50 achieve their new year’s resolutions. Why bother? Because according to the University of Scranton Journal of Clinical Psychology survey reported at www.statisticbrain.com, “people who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t explicitly make resolutions.” So we just keep trying.

I’ve never succeeded at a New Year’s resolution. The closest I ever got was a few years ago during Lent when I gave up donuts for six weeks.

We can resolve all we want, but resolution is nothing without a motivator; and our emotions trigger to our motivation.

I tried for years to succeed at the #1 New Year’s resolution to lose weight (see all Top Ten Resolutions below). I plugged away unsuccessfully, year after year with program after program, gimmick after gimmick. Finally, during a regular checkup, the words “or else” followed my annual scolding from the doctor. This was serious. I knew I had to do something. I re-geared my mindset and succeeded in losing about 50 pounds. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t quick. I feared physical incapacitation in later life. I feared an early death. Fear can be a very strong motivator, and once I made the commitment, I succeeded.

I started smoking when I was 17 years old. Smoking cessation is #7 in the top 10 list of New Year’s Resolutions. From the time I was 20, I resolved every year to quit smoking. Even when the cost of cigarettes escalated to unreasonable prices, I continued puffing away with one excuse after another. None of my children smoke, and all of them criticized my habit constantly over the years. Their complaints fell on deaf ears. What really changed the course of my smoking was the arrival of my first grandchild, Mollie. I knew my daughter would not want smoke around the new baby. I loved my family and my new granddaughter more than I loved smoking. Love can be a very strong motivator, and once I made the commitment, I succeeded.

So determining that emotions ultimately rule our success, let’s break this down into four easy steps:

1. Think about the goal you want to accomplish.
2. Determine the emotion that triggers your desire to succeed at that goal.
3. Choose a mantra to apply to the journey for that goal. The wise women I interviewed for this blog all had a scripture, mantra, or motto that they use in their daily lives. So try something like this: i.e. when someone pushes food at you, or asks you to step out for a cigarette with them, simply say, “No thank you, maybe later.” Each time someone confronts you with an opportunity or offering that goes against your goal, say the same phrase over again.
4. It may be a new year, but do we really need to resolve to our commitment for an entire year? Statistics show that 54% of people fail to keep their resolutions beyond six months. Set a short-term goal instead of long-term. Always remember that “one day a time” is a tried and true concept.

So go ahead and resolve, but resolve to fulfill your commitment for this day only. With each day of successful commitment, your motivation will grow exponentially. The days will turn into weeks, the weeks into months, and next thing you know, it will be 2016. If you plan to succeed, you will succeed with your plan.

I wish blessings and success to all of you as we begin our commitments in this New Year.

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*http://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/

Statistic Verification Source: University of Scranton. Journal of Clinical Psychology
Research Date: 1.1.2014

Rank	Top 10 New Year’s resolutions for 2014
1	Lose Weight
2	Getting Organized
3	Spend Less, Save More
4	Enjoy Life to the Fullest
5	Staying Fit and Healthy
6	Learn Something Exciting
7	Quit Smoking
8	Help Others in Their Dreams
9	Fall in Love
10	Spend More Time with Family

For more ideas on keeping your resolutions:http://newsok.com/why-you-should-resolve-not-to-make-new-years-resolutions/article/5379842

 Through compassion, you will find that all human beings are just like you. - Dalai Lama