Lunch with the American Ninja Warrior Vampire Professor

UPDATE ON JOEL BRADY, AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR VAMPIRE PROFESSOR -

He will appear on the upcoming season of American Ninja Warrior. You can view his submission video here: https://pitt.app.box.com/s/hnc74dyi8op2ntxt23cf

Adam Larkey/NBC

Here’s how it all came down. Last month, one of the members of my writing group casually mentioned that her son-in-law, Joel Brady, is a professor at the University of Pittsburgh. He holds a doctorate in religious studies, but more importantly to us, he was a PUBLISHED writer. Hearing the word PUBLISHED is enough to get us salivating. She generously offered to ask if he would come to speak with our group, give us some tips, and do some literary Q&A. Then almost as an afterthought, she dropped this bomb: “He is an American Ninja Warrior.”

Yes, you read that correctly. He is an ¹American Ninja Warrior, as in NBC TV’s hit series. If you haven’t seen it, the show follows strong and agile competitors through multiple sets of obstacle courses. Those that successfully complete a course in their region move on to the national finals  in Las Vegas, where they face a super-tough four-stage course modeled after the famed Mt. Midoriyama in Japan.

Let me just say right here and right now, his dissertation was on Transnational Conversions: Greek Catholic Migrants and Russky Orthodox Conversion Movements in Austria-Hungary, Russia, and the Americas (heady stuff, huh?) but it all evaporated in a moment when she said the magic words “American Ninja Warrior.”

Until I married my husband, I didn’t even know what a ninja warrior was. When we rent movies at our house, they fall into one of two categories--chick-flicks (my choice of movie) or kick-flicks (my husband’s choice of movie). I was introduced to ninjas through the movie Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon in 2001, obviously a film that fits into the kick-flick genre. The stealth and skill of ninja warriors is legendary.

The American Ninja Warrior series is a guilty pleasure of mine ever since we accidentally stumbled on the show during a dark season of reruns. Being a wannabe fitness buff, I’m fully aware of the prowess it takes to hang by your fingertips on the Devil’s Steps.

My head was just slowing down from the spin it was in from the news of this impending meet up, when his mother-in-law said, “You might have seen him on the show. He’s the Vampire Professor.” My body felt electrified. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I know who he is. I watched him compete! I was really looking forward to an opportunity to get up close and personal with the Vampire Professor.

Next thing you know, there he is sitting across the table from me, and we’re munching on egg salad croissants and potato chips together. Lucky me. Unfortunately, I had to share the conversation with seven other people. No matter. I was in the presence of a Warrior.

We finished lunch and moved on to the literary part of the gathering, where he shared how he earned his chops as a professor at Pitt…yadda-yadda-yadda… dissertation…yadda-yadda-yadda…religious studies…yadda-yadda-yadda...publications. Then came the good stuff about how he became an American Ninja Warrior.

Let me just say that Joel isn’t a big guy. He’s as unassuming as Clark Kent. Slight of build, he probably weighs in at about 130 pounds. How could a guy that weighs less than me become Superman, or the Vampire Professor, for that matter?

Adam Larkey/NBC

It’s all in the fingertips. He probably has stronger knuckles than we have jawbones. In addition to his teaching and Ninja-ing, Joel is a well-respected rock climber. Just google Joel Brady/Mountain Climber and you’ll see him in real action. The opportunity to compete in American Ninja Warrior seemed like a no-brainer. For Joel it was another summit to conquer. 

Being the expert American Ninja Warrior critic that I am, I always tell my husband when a rock climber steps up to the start line “this one can hang the Devil’s Steps.” It goes without saying that the rock climbers have fingertips of steel. In our conversation, Joel revealed that many of the participants on the show were compatriots with him in climbing. When he competed in Denver, about half of the team that moved forward to the Las Vegas competition was from his group of climbing buddies.

When Joel auditioned for the show, he shared with the producers that in addition to the religious study courses he taught, he also teaches a course titled Vampire: Blood and Empire. Of course, always on the lookout for a gimmick, and to the chagrin of his family who would prefer for him to be known for his other quality traits, they sucked on to that persona and next thing you know, mild-mannered Joel Brady turned into the Vampire Professor.

Many of the ninjas compete wearing costumes for their ninja personality, and Joel competes wearing his professor-type garb including a bow-tie. It doesn’t get in the way of his accomplishing amazing feats of strength. He completed enough of the course in the freezing dark of Denver to get him to the Las Vegas round on the way to the famed pinnacle of Mount Midoriyama. 

Unfortunately, the Jumping Spider obstacle got the best of the Vampire Professor in the Vegas competition, but word is on the street that he’s game enough to go again. It’s all hush-hush over there at NBC. His previous season must surely be a foot in the door. 

I have to wonder though if the producers won’t turn him into someone else next series. Although he teaches a variety of classes in the University of Pittsburgh’s Department of Slavic Languages and Literature, including his Vampire: Blood and Empire, one of his other courses includes Behind Bars: Cross-Cultural Representations of the Prison in the 20th Century and Madness and Madmen in Russian Culture. I hope he doesn’t become Rasputin the Mad Monk. It is one thing to climb the Salmon Ladder in a sweater vest and bowtie, but those Cossack-style pants of Rasputin’s might hurt his aerodynamics on the Warped Wall.

Whatever happens to the Vampire Professor, it is good to know him for who he really is. He is humble with a sarcastic, dry sense of humor, accomplished professor, husband, father, and all around nice guy. I will always be in his corner from the comfort of my recliner.

In the meantime, I’m waiting for next season. If I see that skinny guy with the ginger-colored beard warming up again, I can say to my husband for the million-th time, "Did I tell you I had lunch with an American Ninja Warrior?"

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¹ http://www.nbc.com/american-ninja-warrior/about
For more about Joel Brady, click the links below to see some of the articles he’s written.
A recent article about his experience on Ninja Warrior  http://mydigitalpublication.com/publication/?i=237816 (page 32).
More of his humorous writing at http://thevampireprofessor.com/
Photo Credits: Adam Larkey/NBC

 Through compassion, you will find that all human beings are just like you. - Dalai Lama