Grandma, Me, and Jesus in 3-D

Sallman's Head of Christ

Grandma lived about three hours away from us, back in the days before interstates could whisk us wherever we needed to go. The three-hour drive consisted of maneuvering over two-lane country roads, so our visits were mostly limited to special occasions like Christmas and Mother's Day. 

One of those special occasions was the first two weeks of June when my parents would deposit me at Grandma's for a vacation. I was never quite sure whose vacation it was supposed to be, but it must have been mine, because during those two weeks, I attended VACATION Bible School at Grandma's church. 

In the 1950's, Bible School wasn't the creative, fun learning environment it is today. Discipline was the rule, and spending half a day for two weeks sitting on thickly varnished wooden chairs (that tended to get tacky with summer's high humidity) didn't seem like much of a vacation to me. 

Then there was GRANDMA herself. No one would ever be able to say she wasn't a Christian woman. Her life was devoted to the Lord in all aspects...from morning prayers to evening devotions. She was mission-minded, tithed generously, and her conversations were sprinkled abundantly with references to her faith. 

She was a fire-and-brimstone Christian, and the living embodiment of the phrase, "put the fear of the Lord in you." She frequently used His almighty power and her inside connections with Him to persuade me into practicing acceptable behavior. 

As visible proof of her devout attitudes, her home was decorated in the proper manner for a true Christian. She had a picture of the American flag (because she loved her country too), and she also possessed ~classic Christian art like "Christ in the Garden" and "the Last Supper". But she had it ALL OVER her Christian lady-friends by owning not just an ordinary portrait of Salman's "Head of Christ", but an actual ceramic, three-dimensional HEAD with eyes that followed you around the room.

I never knew where she acquired this treasure, but my guess is it may have been a premium with the purchase of a family Bible from a door-to-door salesman. 

Grandma proudly displayed her three-D Jesus atop the buffet in the dining room. And sure enough, just as Grandma always claimed, Jesus watched me, wherever I went. 

Now I suppose that Jesus' continuous presence was a comfort to Grandma, but not to THIS fledgling Christian. I can remember peeking into the dining room before entering just to see what Jesus was doing, and sure enough...He was watching ME! 

I'd try to make myself invisible by staying v-e-r-y close to the outside walls and passing through as quick as possible, but each time I dared to glance...He was looking back at me! 

There was no escape. There were no secrets. He knew that I didn't brush my teeth or put on clean underwear. He knew that I didn’t really study my Bible verses. He knew that I sneaked a cookie or pinched off pieces of rising bread dough. He knew every sin THIS sinner committed because HE SAW EVERYTHING! 

Now, in my adult life, I find the notion of Jesus' watching over me as a reassuring thing. But when you're a small child and just learning your way around the Bible and figuring out what religion is all about, Jesus hovering over you all the time can be a real intimidating idea. 

Grandma passed on to her greater glory a long time ago. The last I knew about 3-D Jesus, was that he went to live with my aunt’s family in Modesto, California. 

It took maturity for me to learn to put my faith in Jesus. But through my life, whenever I see the portrait of the "Head of Christ," I smile as I remember those warm June days when I impatiently tolerated Bible School and learned the books by rote: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy and Grandma rewarded me with the grown-up, leather-bound Bible with tissue-thin pages and no color pictures (that I still have today)...and Jesus watched over me wherever I went.