Life Lessons - Lost and Found, Do's and Don'ts

I just finished reading Wild-From Lost to Found on the Pacific Coast Trail by Cheryl  Strayed. I know this book is now a movie starring Reese Witherspoon, and yes, I could have just watched the movie, but I’m one of those people that think you really need to know the “details” that are sometimes skipped when a book goes to film. The story begins with the quick and early death of Cheryl’s mother from lung cancer at the age of 45, sending Cheryl’s own mental and moral well-being into a tailspin. 

The Amazon book description nutshells the story with the following synopsis of the book:  “At twenty-two, Cheryl Strayed thought she had lost everything. In the wake of her mother’s death, her family scattered and her own marriage was soon destroyed. Four years later, with nothing more to lose, she made the most impulsive decision of her life. With no experience or training, driven only by blind will, she would hike more than a thousand miles of the Pacific Crest Trail from the Mojave Desert through California and Oregon to Washington State—and she would do it alone. Told with suspense and style, sparkling with warmth and humor, Wild powerfully captures the terrors and pleasures of one young woman forging ahead against all odds on a journey that maddened, strengthened, and ultimately healed her.”

Since I’ve devoted two paragraphs, you may get the impression that I liked this book. You would be correct. In fact it is one of Huffington Post's 21 Books from The Last 5 Years That Every Woman Should Read. I really do agree.

As you may imagine, Ms. Strayed spent a lot of time in personal reflection as she walked the more than 1,100 miles. I reflected along with her, paralleling my life experiences with hers. I too, had lost my mother at an early age. Near the end of the book, she wrote about her relationship with her mother, and claimed she’d spent her childhood planning not to become her mother. She quotes her mother as saying in her final days: “I never got to be in the driver’s seat of my own life,” she’d wept to me once, in the days after she learned she was going to die. “I always did what someone else wanted me to do. I’ve always been someone’s daughter or mother or wife. I’ve never just been me.”  

Those words made me think of all the women who responded to my Boomer Babes Lifestyle Survey and sat for private Wise Women of Age interviews with me. These women found enough of themselves, were confident enough in their own skin, to not be afraid to answer some deep, though-provoking questions. Their individual stories came laced with success, tragedy, heartbreak, pain, and pride. However, I believe all answered every question as honestly as they could. Each of them is blessed with a longer life and more time to find out who their “me” is. 

At the end of each interview  I asked each of them, “If you could share words of wisdom with a younger woman that you have learned in your life experience what would it be?” Some women ruminated a while, others were quick with advice.

To that end, I give you the Do’s and Don’ts of life through the words of the Wise Women of Age. I’m pleased to see that the Do list is longer than the Don’t list!

DO	DON’T
Do things that make you happy.	Don’t worry about what people think, or what you can’t change.
Take care of yourself and your health, so that you can take care of others.	Don’t be hard on yourself.
Enjoy every minute.	Don’t get sucked into drama.
It’s your life. Make it yours.	Don’t waste another day.
Make the most of your relationships, and let others know how much you love them.	Don’t rely on others for your happiness.
Try new things, careers, relationship, friendships.	Don’t expect everyone to think like you.
Go after everything you want.	Don’t be a doormat.
Things will happen in life, but you have the power of response.	Don’t ever stop learning.
Take the high road.	You don’t have to do everything for the sake of your children.
Go with the flow. Enjoy every day. Bedtimes comes sooner or later!
If you don’t like your life, change it!
What you want out of life is possible. Believe in yourself.
Make better choices, things that bring peace and happiness.
Work toward financial security.
Find your passion, and see where it leads you.
Stop and smell the roses.
Be true to yourself. You don’t want to look back and realize you were someone you didn’t really want to be.
Trust your own instincts.
Learn your family history before it’s too late.

I have made my own life lessons as well, as evidenced in one of my previous blogs, Regrets, I've Had a Few.... Those life lessons make us the women we are. This is what life is all about. Whether we have grown up to be like our mothers, whether we have cut our own path, whether we made good decisions, bad decisions, played it safe, or made our own mistakes, we are here now with 60-some years of experience. I would venture to say, we have earned our stripes.

Do you have “words of wisdom” to share? You can leave your comments below. If you found this information helpful, and feel you know another woman (your age or younger), please pass this blog link along.