Beauty’s Only Skin Deep

Just to give you a little background here, I live in a small town. Our little retirement home is on a pretty, tree-lined street that has a direct path to the high school and our local swimming pool. Because of those destinations, we get many…and I mean MANY…teenagers passing by our house each day. Situated on a little rise over the street, often as I’m quietly working away up here in my little slice of heaven, these teenagers pass by, never aware that I’m within earshot.

For several weeks I’ve been working diligently at laying a brick sidewalk from the back of the house around the side to meet the front sidewalk. It’s been back-breaking work. I’ve removed the sod the entire way, divided and replanted many plants, scavenged about 150 bricks from various places, hauled them home in my truck, then unloaded them at the new sidewalk site, and spent hours on my hands and knees placing the brick. 

Sweaty and dirty, I stopped working today to get a drink of water and a little break. I was sitting on the little knoll in front of my house, lost in my own thought, when I heard two teenage girl voices approaching. Their conversation was spirited and giggly. It’s no surprise that both girls were working their cellphones as they walked along. In my old-lady kind of way, I knew they were in their own little la-la-land. 

Suddenly, a horn honked. I recognized the bright red, sporty-looking car of one of my bachelor friends, and gave a wave to him as he blew on by. Both of the girls, neither of whom actually saw the driver, quickly looked up with excitement. “Who was that?” one said to the other. “I don’t know. Nice car. I wonder who it was.”

I couldn’t help myself. I spoke up and said, “He was a friend of mine.”  

They looked up at me simultaneously. Obviously neither saw me until a spoke. However, here’s what REALLY torqued me about this little exchange...it was a look on their face. The look I can only describe as disdain! I could almost hear their thinking, “Who would be honking at you, old lady?”

Their arrogance was palpable! Do they think they are the only ones that emit enough beauty to have someone in a flashy car honk at them?

I’ve observed as time goes by, that we Wise Women of Age are not our mothers at our age. This whole blog that I write started with an essay titled “65 is the New 45.” My mother didn’t live to be 60. She died at the age of 58. However, even at my current age of 65, I’m a far better physical specimen than my mother ever was. I don’t think it wasn’t that she didn’t want to be. We’ve just had the information and education at our fingertips to provide healthier years of aging. 

Technology provides us with better health care than our mothers. Many of our World War II era mothers smoked cigarettes. We now know the dangers not only to our bodies, but also our complexions caused by smoking. We are nutritionally educated. Our mothers were meat and potatoes mavens, often topping off our dinners with high-calorie, decadent desserts. We women today now know what our mothers didn’t about physical activity and staying active. A body in motion stays in motion. We also know that life isn’t all work and no play, and we spend more time indulging ourselves. 

So what makes a woman beautiful at any age? Here are some of my thoughts on aging:

• Beautiful isn’t just physical. It's being comfortable in your own skin. It's a lifestyle.
• Don’t worry. Be happy. A Voice of America article refers to a study of 4,000 people over 5 years. Their study found that happy people had a 35 percent lower risk of death than the least happy.
• Self-image is how you perceive yourself. Your self-image is a number of self-impressions that have built up over time. If you project a positive self-image, people will be more likely to see you as a positive, capable person.
• How do you perceive life? Are you a glass half-full or half-empty kind of person? A 30-year study of 447 people at the Mayo Clinic found that optimists had around a 50 percent lower risk of early death than pessimists.
• A particular age doesn’t need to define you. I recently saw a news story of a 97-year old woman who ran a marathon! It's up to you to define the age you feel.
• Don’t let vanity get in the way of enjoying life. Yes, our faces and bodies age. Hopefully, with grace. Think about some of the most beautiful, mature women you hear about or personally know. You will find that those women who are fully engaged in living and have a joie de vivre appear to be younger.
• Do people enjoy being with you and around you? Chances are, if asked, they may use the word “beautiful” to describe you.

A while ago, I saw a friend of mine after almost 35 years. I couldn’t believe how age had depleted her! I asked my husband after the encounter if I really looked that old, but just didn’t know it? He assured me that I don’t. 

I would hope that my husband’s eyes age along with me, and that he always sees me as beautiful. As that old song says, “Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be.”

Oh, and about those smug teenage girls, they need to know this quote from the ageless Audrey Hepburn: “And the beauty of a woman, with passing years only grows!”

If you enjoyed this article, please pass it on to your friends who are Wise Women of Age.