Goodbye February – Hello March!

February is finally over! I admit I’m not sorry to see this month go. Here in Pennsylvania, our temperatures hovered around 0^o on many days. 

The good news is that birds are beginning to sing in the morning, and next Sunday, March 8 begins Eastern Daylight Savings Time. Whooo-hoooo! The following day, I will be going to Florida for a week. Whooo-hooo!

It’s been a great month on the Wise Women of Age blog. Readership increases with every month. For me, that’s a sign that you wise women relate to what I write about. 

In case you missed them, here is your chance to catch up on this month’s subjects, ranked by readership. Click on any hot link to go directly to that blog:

Through a Mother’s Eyes – A story for those of faith about  the crucifixion and a mother's love,

thoughts about this holy Christian season of Lent, and the crucifixion through the eyes of a mother and how it relates to us. 

Here Comes the Sun – Just Not Soon Enough – Winter makes me SAD. I mean SAD as in Seasonal Affective Disorder. Could you be suffering from it too? I give you my take on it in this blog,

So Many Books, So Little Time - Winter is my time for reading, and I read A LOT! I read concurrently, and will often be working through a novel, some kind of non-fiction “how to” book, doing a Bible study, and my pile of periodicals to peruse. Nothing is better on a snowy winter afternoon than to nestle under the cuddle blanket my granddaughter made for me with my dog, a cup of tea, and a good book. In this blog, I share with you the titles of some of my favorite books of this month. 

Punxsutawney Phil –Up Close and Personal  -  Here’s a little known fact about me: Punxsutawney Phil and I are BFFs. Groundhog Day means more to me than the lore of a rodent's shadow. It’s a turning point in my life. Read this blog to get the rest of the story.

Secret Spending – I Cannot Tell a Lie -  We would all like to think we are not liars. I’m sure we all try NOT to be liars. However, sometimes we tell lies with our actions, not words. Secret spending and financial infidelity are destructive in relationships. If you’re committing financial offenses, you need to read this blog.

You Gotta Have Friends – Did you know that interaction with your coffee shop gang could add two and half years to your life? Check out this blog to get the story.  

Senior Dating: Advice from Me and Willie Nelson -Widowed, divorced, separated, or single? Are you interested in dating in the September of your life? Do you know someone who is? Where to begin? In this February month of all things Valentine related, we will look at searching for love in the second half of our lives. Willie Nelson and I have some advice to help you out.

Heart of My Heart – Women and Heart Disease – What You Need to Know - 69% of women don't know that heart disease is the #1 killer of women. Do you know your risks? Do you know that women’s symptoms of a heart attack are different than men’s symptoms? Read this blog for information to put you in the know. You owe it to those you love.

Round, Round, Ready, Touch – The Death of Penmanship –  Penmanship is disappearing in school. I remember making rocker and rainbow motions. I remember “round, round, ready-touch” as we oval-ed our full-motion arms across the pre-lined practice papers.

Think about those love letters your husband wrote, your mother’s recipe cards, and the Mother’s Day cards your kids made for you. Aren’t they a treasure? Where would we be if the signers of the Declaration of Independence couldn’t sign their names?

We need to keep penmanship alive. Hear me out in this blog.

There you have it. I’m looking forward to hearing more from my readers. Your comments are often the spark that generates this blog. So keep them coming!

If you know someone who benefit or enjoy this blog, please forward it to them.

Here Comes the Sun - Just Not Soon Enough!

I remember the first time I felt SAD. My husband retired, and we sold our urban home and bought an Amish farm. We moved during a snow storm, on Ground Hog Day, into a house that had no central heat, no running hot water, no shower, and an outhouse. Two makeshift electric outlets provided a place to plug in our coffeepot and pellet stove.

The snow that arrived that day never disappeared until around June (just kidding). Of course it melted with the spring thaw, but for months the two beautiful gardens, the grape arbor, fruit trees, and the babbling brook that lured us to this lifestyle change lay buried under feet of snow. I couldn’t even determine where they were anymore. Our narrow dirt road was trafficked mostly by buggies, so the township highway department paid little attention to the care of our only egress from our valley. We had no television, no phone, and couldn’t get a radio signal.

One dark day I stood looking out the windows at the lovely snow-blanketed rolling countryside and started to cry. Not sobbing. Not dramatic. I think forlorn would be the best choice of word. It felt like those were some of the darkest days. To the best of my knowledge, that was the first time I ever experienced the symptoms of SAD. 

Are you a candidate for SAD? For those who don’t know, there really is such an ailment. The letters are an acronym for Seasonal Affective Disorder. According to WebMD, anyone can get SAD, but it's more common in women and people who live far from the equator where daylight hours are short. They say the risk of getting SAD goes down as you age, but for me, I think it has escalated. Most people with SAD start to have symptoms in September or October and feel better by April or May. 

If you are a SAD victim, you may experience some of these symptoms:

• Feel sad, grumpy, moody, or anxious - I honestly am not a grumpy or moody person, but I do feel sad in the winter. I’m sad that the daylight hours are so short. I’m sad that sidewalks are for ice skating, and snow freezes in piles like granite. I’m sad that the temperature hovers at 0 degrees, and the only time I see my toes is when I’m in the shower. I’m sad that even my dog doesn’t want to go out. I’m sad that I can only see the fence around my garden and none of the lush greenery of the life force of nature. I’m sad that the only sunlight on my face comes through the kitchen window while I’m eating lunch.
• Eat more and crave carbohydrates, such as bread and pasta - Who doesn’t want more bread and pasta? There’s not much else to do in these dark days except cook and eat. We can’t go outside and play. The roads are too miserable to just get out for a ride. It’s too cold to go to the ice cream stand for a cone. Let's go make a big fat chocolate cake! Why not boil up a big pot of pasta? Don’t forget the meatballs. How about a skillet full of pierogi with butter and onions? Let’s cheer ourselves with comfort food!
• Gain weight – Doesn’t it go without saying? We’re stuffing ourselves with cake, pasta, and pierogi. We’re carb loading, but not running any marathons to burn it off. We can’t safely go for a walk. There’s no yard or garden work to do. I could do some housework, but that’s a blog left for another day. It’s too much effort. Piling on layers of clothes to drive three miles to Planet Fitness seems like too much effort too. The same goes for digging out some work-out DVDs. I’m not feeling it. Sigh….
• Sleep more but still feel tired – As a menopausal women, I don’t sleep well on any given night. By 9:00 p.m. I’m inching toward the bedroom. My eyes generally don’t stay open past 10:00 p.m. However, after the first half hour, I wake and spend the rest of the night tossing and turning. That is until the last hour before it’s time to get up. Then I go into the deepest slight of the night, making it difficult to get up and greet the day at a respectable time. In my opinion, if you need to turn on the bedside lamp to help you wake up, then it’s not time to get up. I need the dawning sun to brighten my bedroom gradually.
• Have trouble concentrating – Why wouldn’t I? My body is overloaded on carb energy with no way to spend it. I’m not doing any aerobic activity to pump blood or oxygen to my heart or brain. I’m not sleeping well. It all adds up to absent-mindedness. I feel the need to create list after list to keep myself on track.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not making light of SAD. It is a true form of depression. It can also be very debilitating for some people. I’m fortunate that I know about it. A few weeks after daylight savings time begins, I’ll start feeling energized and renewed.

How do you know if it’s SAD or something else? You need to talk with your doctor. It could be something else. Your doctor may choose to do some blood tests to rule out other conditions that can cause similar symptoms, such as low thyroid (hypothyroidism). A mental health assessment to be sure there are no other mental issues at play might be another recommendation. 

Some ways to feel better are by doing the very things your body is trying to avoid. Regular exercise is one of the best things to do. Getting more sunlight can help too. Google the words “light therapy.” You’ll find multitudes of lighting products that simulate natural light. Some even have timers that will gradually illuminate like the sun and then gradually recede to mimic a sunset. There are herbal products too that may help the symptoms, but as always never use an herbal product without consulting with your doctor, especially if you are taking prescription anti-depressants. 

It’s been a tough winter. It’s easy to be lethargic on these slow, cold days. Could you be SAD? If you’ve been feeling melancholy, but couldn’t put a name to your feelings, I hope you found this helpful. If you think someone else might find this article helpful, please forward it to them. In the meantime, keep your face toward the sun. It could be worse. You could live in Boston in this winter of 2015.

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad-topic-overview

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pierogi

 http://www.planetfitness.com/

http://www.webmd.com/women/hypothyroidism-underactive-thyroid-symptoms-causes-treatments

http://www.webmd.com/hw-popup/hypothyroidism

 https://www.google.com/

Through a Mother's Eyes

Here we are again in the season of Lent. For me, this is the most meaningful season of the Christian calendar. I fully embrace the Christian rituals that are part of the celebration of the resurrection. 

This past Tuesday, we had the traditional fare for our household for Fat Tuesday by pounding down as many pancakes as we could comfortably hold. The feasting is typical in preparation for the 40 days of Lent, a time when we do penance for the forty days that Jesus fasted in the wilderness. My greatest indulgence is the daily consumption of at least one kolache (little Czech pastries). My Lenten sacrifice usually means foregoing kolaches during the Lenten season.

For the first day of Lent,  I took part in an Ash Wednesday service that included participation in preparation for Communion by reciting the litany that includes a declaration of the mystery of faith, “Christ has died; Christ is risen; Christ will come again.”

The Passion of Christ

Truthfully, despite the best efforts of my pastor to engage and teach us with a meaningful sermon, my mind was wandering during the service. I started thinking about the crucifixion and the memorable movie, The Passion of Christ. A heartbreaking scene takes place in that movie when Jesus is carrying the cross through the streets. Jesus’ mother and Mary Magdalen are following on a parallel street trying to keep him in their line of vision as he plods through the jeering crowds. In one moment, in the center of an intersection, Jesus falls. As he rests for a moment in the street to gather his energy to rise again, Mother Mary catches his eye. The silent sharing of love that passes between the eyes of the mother and the eyes of her son will rip sobs from your throat. I guarantee. The love of the mother and the son is palpable.

“When you look into your mother’s eyes, you know that is the purest love you can find on this earth.” Mitch Albom wrote this line in his best seller, For One More Day, a story of a mother and a son, which asks you to think about what would you do if you could spend one more day with a lost loved one? I wonder, do you think Jesus saw that pure mother love in that fleeting moment in his final hours?

In the Boomer Babes Lifestyle Survey that I authored last year, 84% of respondents indicated they were mothers. My guess is that they have had their hearts wrenched sometime in life when they saw their child bullied, lose their job, experience a failed relationship, or deal with financial, drug or alcohol issues.

 My own son is one I would not hesitate to label as a rascal when he was little. Without a doubt, he was a handful and a challenge. As his mother, I have watched his struggles in life, trying to guide and support without suffocating. Even though he’s close to being a middle-aged adult, he’s still my baby boy. When he is sick, or having bad times, or maybe suffering from a broken heart, I can easily be brought to tears of anguish just for the want of being able to help him. Would I tell him that? No. I think because he is older, I don’t want to seem like I am interfering. I try to walk the walk of a wise woman. What mother can’t relate?

When I watch that scene from the movie, I wonder how I would feel if that were my son? Mother Mary lived knowing that someday her son would fulfill the prophecy for which he was destined. She knew of God’s plan for Jesus and for us. Just because she was part of the holy circle of beings that surrounded Jesus, she was still a mortal mother. 

The mother’s eyes of Mary saw him grow up and away from her. She watched him become a superhero in their world, and then witnessed him tumble and fall from grace, a victim of those who felt threatened by him. Just like any mother, she suffered unbearable anguish for her son. Helplessly, she couldn’t change the course of his destiny. Through it all, she was a mother in the simplest, purest form, just like you and me. Through it all, she stood by his side, watching as the world betrayed and crucified him. In the end, John 19:25 (NIV) says, “Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother…”

Just as Mary’s heart ached for her son, our hearts ache as we watch our children struggle. Through our own eyes as mothers, we mourn collectively for the mothers who have lost their children through death or some form of alienation. Our anguish is just as deep. 

Of course, we all know how the story ends. Helen Steiner Rice is quoted as saying, “A mother’s love is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking, it never fails or falters, even though the heart is breaking.”

In the Boomer Babes Lifestyle Survey, I asked the question, “On a scale of 1-10, how important is faith in your life?” A full 94% rated their faith at a 5 or above. Out of the 94% who rated faith as important, 46% percent of those faith responders indicated the importance of faith in their lives with a score of 9 or 10. 

Lent is a time for sacrifice, but also for a time of renewal and rebirth. Perhaps, as mothers, we can use this beautiful holy Lenten season to affirm our love to our families. Perhaps, as mothers who quietly suffer and yearn for peace and a good life for our children, we can remember what scripture tells us in Isaiah 66:13, when the Lord reminds us, “As a mother comforts her son, I will comfort you.”

I would like to suggest since we are at the beginning of the 40 days of reflection, that you rent, download, or replay The Passion of Christ. Yes, it is the story of Jesus. However, it is also the story of his mother and those who loved him intimately. Whether it’s the first time or a repeat viewing for you, I ask you to put yourself in Mary’s place… through a mother’s eyes.

Blessings.

If you know of anyone who might benefit or enjoy this article, please forward the link or email to them. Thank you for joining us a wisewomenofage.blogspot.com

http://www.amazon.com/Passion-Christ-Full-Screen-Edition/dp/B00028HBKC/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_mfw?&linkCode=wey&tag=65isthne45wiw-20

 http://www.amazon.com/For-One-More-Mitch-Albom/dp/1401309577/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_mfw?&linkCode=wey&tag=65isthne45wiw-20

www.cafekolache.com

You Gotta Have Friends

We should all be thankful for
those who rekindle the inner spirit-
Albert Schweitzer

You see it every morning at McDonald's, Wendy’s, Starbucks,  local coffee shops, and mom and pop establishments. There they are a group of retirees, sometimes all men, sometimes mixed, all with one thing in common. They are there for the 3 Cs that many retirees look for in social gatherings: Coffee, Company, and Conversation. What these retirees may not realize is that there is an important health benefit that gets served up with that morning cup a’ Joe. 

Let me share a story I read on the AARP website about social interaction. A daughter began to notice changes in her mother after her father died. Mom had previously been active, but now as a widow, she began skipping churches, stopped caring for her appearance, and taking on a disheveled demeanor. As she spent more and more time alone, she started to be confused about what day of the week it was, and even began to forget to eat meals. Her situation deteriorated to the point that the daughter plucked mom from her Pittsburgh home where she seldom left the house, and brought her to Nevada and a large facility near her home, where Mom had a multitude of social activities and peers with which to interact. Within a month her grooming improved dramatically, she started playing bridge and walking three miles a day. Her daughter claimed it was like the clock was turning back several years.

No one is sure why, but researchers are looking at what happens in the brain to people as they engage in social activity. They believe these interactions are beneficial to memory and our cognitive functions as we age.  

I authored the Boomer Babes Lifestyle Survey last fall to women over 50.  The average age of the 140 responding women responding is 62.

When asked their working status:

• 34% still worked a full-time job
• 22% still worked part-time job 
•  41% were retired or not working 
•  3% did not answer the work status question

With 41% retired or not working, the question is how do you stay interactive with others, especially if you are living alone? When I inquired, “How many close friends do you have?” Respondents answered with an average number of 6 close friends. 

Another query regarding social interaction is “how many times a week do you socialize?” The answer average for that question was 4. These are great numbers. They indicate that my peers are working at staying involved and vital. 

The two oldest to participate in the Boomer Babes Lifestyle survey are 84 and 88 years old respectively. Both women are dynamos. Both are widowed. 

Arlene was in her mid-60s when she went to the Congo to serve in a refugee camp immediately after the Rwandan genocide. Here she is 20 years later living in Rwanda where after establishing the Hope Made Real Foundation and the Urukundo Village. She fills her days by overseeing a large staff for the children, schools, health facilities, and the skill and revenue-generating shops related to the village.  

At 88, a woman I will call Winnie, has a schedule that would make the youngest woman weary. Her ministries with her church, book clubs, volunteering and support groups keep her hustling. In response to the question, “What makes you the woman you are today?” she answered, “I’m a positive thinker, and take advantage of opportunities.” Her mantra for her life is “seize the moment.” That doesn’t surprise me. She has wonderful friends and a great support system through her church. It’s a full life for her. 

Both of these women know how vital it is to keep active. Their commitments to their interests and ministries keep them motivated. 

I am 65 and retired for real last August. For me, retirement means I am not obligated to go to a paid job. Without day-to-day structure the days tend to blur together. I have to admit that each morning, I mentally confirm to myself the day of the week. The only time a date is important to me is if I have an appointment. 

Just because I don’t go to an office doesn’t mean I’m stagnating. I don’t linger around in my pajamas, but after a cup of coffee, I “put on my face,” and my husband and I walk our dog, rain or shine. We are a regular fixture in our neighborhood by which our neighbors can set their clocks.

We are part of small group that gathers at Café Kolache in our little town of Beaver, Pennsylvania. We meet at 8:00 a.m., and usually coffee and chit-chat until close to 9:00. Ironically, some of us were not friends when we started going there, but because we are regulars each morning in the same place, conversations began taking place over table tops, and soon we were inviting each other to join in the conversation.  

One of the members of our group is in his 80's. He works as an accountant 3 hours a day, 4 days a week for a local water authority. Another member of the group is 62 and stepping into retirement a little bit at a time. She still goes to help at their family business several times a week. Each day at the Café we keep up on local events, general news, reminisce about our lives, and share information. Thank goodness for smart phones! Each time we can’t remember an event or need more information, someone says, “Let’s Google that!” For us, this interactive time provides enthusiastic conversation and good companionship.

Time spent with others is a strong motivator and stimulant. We need to stay connected to stay vital. Studies show that older adults who like to eat out, go to movies and take part in other social activities live an average of two and a half years longer than people who spend most of their time alone. This just proves that people DO need people. 

Tomorrow morning, why not put on your walking shoes, bundle up, and take a stroll to your local coffee shop? Get a cup of coffee and look around. Smile at others. Be accessible. Start adding that extra two and a half years to your life!

I love this quote by Albert Schweitzer that sums it up perfectly, “In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”

Do you know someone that will benefit from this information? You can share it on Facebook or Twitter or by email by clicking below.

For more information:

http://www.aarp.org/health/brain-health/info-11-2008/friends-are-good-for-your-brain.html

http://hopemadereal.org/

 www.cafekolache.com

 https://www.google.com/